NOT SUCH A PRETTY FAT
(2015 EDIT - STOCK PHOTO, NO SENIORS WERE SHAMED IN THE MAKING OF THIS ENTRY) I just joined a gym for the first time in more than three...
SAVE THE WORLD, SAVE THE RANCH
Sometimes what I write and what I mean to write are diametrically opposed... like, when Ambien is involved. Now, a quick caveat before...
JEN LANCASTER, (WEB) M.D.
Setting: Starbucks, last week, with my friend Laurie. Me: "... so that's everything that happened while I was in New York." Laurie: ...
ESPRESSO YOURSELF
Early last month: I stay in a hotel in Scottsdale with a cool little espresso maker in my room. I drink fifteen thousand of them...
IT'S A GOOD THING (HE MARRIED AN OPTIMIST)
Fletch: "What are you doing?" Me: "What does it look like I'm doing?" Fletch: "You appear to be washing your foot in the kitchen...
THIS ONE'S FOR BIG GIRLS ONLY
How do I say this politely? Fuck you, Macy’s. Trust me, that’s polite considering how mad I am. To backtrack, I decided to go shopping...
TODAY'S MOMENT OF SHAME
Setting – Pick up counter at coffee shop Barista: Here’s your wet cappuccino. (hands cup to me) How does it feel? Is it wet enough? Me:...
