IT'S A GOOD THING (HE MARRIED AN OPTIMIST)

Fletch: "What are you doing?"

Me: "What does it look like I'm doing?"

Fletch: "You appear to be washing your foot in the kitchen sink."

Me: "Bingo."

Fletch: "I don't want to know why, do I?"

Me: "Someone had an accident in the dining room and I stepped in it. Didn't you hear me screaming five minutes ago?"

Fletch: (shudders) "This is why I always wear shoes in the house. Always."

Me: "Oh, please. It's fine. I cleaned it up. And now I'm washing my foot."

Fletch: "Aren't there more appropriate places to do that?"

Me: "Well, I rinsed my foot under the hose, and then I dunked it in the pool, and now I'm washing it in the sink. What's the problem?"

Fletch: "This is why your Martha Stewart project is doomed."

Me: "Why? I'm using antibacterial soap!"

Fletch: (walking away) "DOOMED."

My project is totally not doomed.

But I may finally reconsider my stance on being barefoot in the house.

[JEN'S 2015 EDIT - IF BY "DOOMED" HE MEANT "NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER" THEN YES, HE WAS RIGHT]