IT'S A GOOD THING (HE MARRIED AN OPTIMIST)
Fletch: "What are you doing?" Me: "What does it look like I'm doing?" Fletch: "You appear to be washing your foot in the kitchen sink." Me: "Bingo." Fletch: "I don't want to know why, do I?" Me: "Someone had an accident in the dining room and I stepped in it. Didn't you hear me screaming five minutes ago?" Fletch: (shudders) "This is why I always wear shoes in the house. Always." Me: "Oh, please. It's fine. I cleaned it up. And now I'm washing my foot." Fletch: "
THIS ONE'S FOR BIG GIRLS ONLY
How do I say this politely? Fuck you, Macy’s. Trust me, that’s polite considering how mad I am. To backtrack, I decided to go shopping today. Since I was across the street looking at outdoor pillows at World Market, I decided to hit Northbrook Court as opposed to driving another ten miles to Bloomingdale’s at Old Orchard. Normally, I don’t need to buy clothes at this time of year because I’ll have been to Atlanta on tour. Years ago, I discovered the Macy’s at Lennox Square
